The Truth About Self-Care: When It’s Really Just Escaping!

Hey Love, bring on your sunny glow!… Is It Self-Care or Self-Avoidance? Let’s Talk About It. I feel that this is something we need to talk about it a little bit more. Ever poured a glass of wine, curled up with a face mask, and told yourself this is self-care—when deep down, you were really just hiding from the overwhelm?

Yeah… same.

Here’s the thing: Not everything that looks like self-care actually is self-care. I discovered this myself during a time in my life when I needed it most, but didn’t realize it. To get the full scoop of my story, check out this video.

Head over to my channel for a quick take on self-care made simple—ABC-style!

Sometimes, we confuse self-care and self-avoidance without even realizing it. Both might make you feel good in the moment, but the true indicator lies in how you feel afterward. So, let’s break this down together—no judgment, just awareness.

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying. See my full disclosure policy for additional information.    

✦ Signs It’s Not Actually Helping

You know those moments when you hope a little self-care will rejuvenate you, bring you some peace—but it doesn’t quite land? But, it doesn’t just pop up on your feed. You have to make space for it. I know this because I’ve had those moments when I thought I was “resting,” but still felt tense afterward. Or when a break leaves me even more drained than before. That’s when I know it’s not really working.

Here’s what to look for:

• You keep reaching for distractions instead of solutions.

• You feel worse afterward—guilty, more stressed, or just numb.

• It’s on repeat… but it’s not resolving anything.

Saves lives!

Self-care can turn into self-avoidance when we’re not ready to face what’s really going on. It’s easy to get caught in that loop. But at some point, not feeling becomes more of a trap than a relief. That endless scroll, that third coffee run, that packed calendar with everything but what you need? Yeah, those aren’t always helping.

Not feeling is okay… until it’s no longer safe.

✦ When “Treating Yourself” Becomes Hiding

Treating yourself is beautiful—until it becomes a way to dodge what’s bubbling under the surface. And by the way, treating yourself doesn’t have to be luxurious to be meaningful.

Ask yourself:

• Am I avoiding a hard conversation?

• Am I postponing rest for productivity (or vice versa)?

• Am I constantly saying “I deserve this” to justify what I know isn’t aligned?

Been there. More than once.

Sometimes it’s not about the wine or the spa night—it’s about what you’re hoping it will silence. You might as well face those demons head-on. After all, they need to be addressed—and sooner rather than later. Because if we keep distracting ourselves, we risk never truly healing.

Real growth starts when we stop running from what we need to feel, confront, and process.

✦ When Self-Care is Right

When you realize what real self-care is all about—and you’re tired of hiding—it’s a sign you’re ready for something deeper. No need to judge yourself, though. You don’t have to get it right all the time. But now, you can start paying attention to how things make you feel afterward.

Here are some gentle ways to course-correct:

• Check in: “What do I actually need right now?”

• Pause before numbing: Breathe. Stretch. Step outside.

• Create space to feel—without the noise.

And remember, it’s not about cutting out bubble baths, Netflix, or brunch dates. It’s about noticing whether you’re using them to nurture yourself… or to avoid yourself. Because at the end of the day, the goal is always to nurture yourself, not escape from what’s really going on.

The goal is always to nurture your well-being—emotionally, mentally, and physically.

I remember once calling a long nap “rest,” but truthfully, I was emotionally exhausted from holding everything in. What I really needed was a moment to cry and release—not sleep through it. That day taught me: real self-care starts when you stop hiding from what your heart is trying to say!

✦ Real Self-Care That Fills Your Cup

Real self-care doesn’t always look Instagram-worthy—but it feels like truth. It’s the kind that replenishes instead of depletes, centers you instead of scattering you, and brings alignment rather than offering a quick escape.

Some ways to lean into real self-care:

• Express tangled thoughts—no filter, no pressure

• Say no, even when it’s uncomfortable but necessary

• Go to bed when your body says it’s time (not your to-do list)

• Move your body out of love, not punishment

• Let yourself cry when your heart needs a release

• Choose silence over constant stimulation

• Ask for help—even if you’re used to being the strong one

• Sit with discomfort without rushing to fix it

• Make time to be with yourself—honestly, gently, and with grace

This eBook helps you pause, reflect, and ask the right questions—so you can choose what truly supports you. It’s no longer about treating yourself. It’s about meeting yourself now—right where you are.

Get your copy today~meaningful!

Final Thoughts

Real self-care doesn’t look the same for everyone—and honestly, it shouldn’t. What fills someone else up might not even move the needle for you, and that’s completely okay.

But here’s what I’ve noticed about real self-care—it usually:

• Replenishes instead of draining you

• Grounds you rather than pulling you in every direction

• Feels like truth, not escape

It’s not always glamorous or picture-perfect. Sometimes it’s raw, uncomfortable, and exactly the thing you’ve been avoiding.

So the next time you say, “I need this,” just pause for a second. Ask yourself: Do I really need this—or am I trying not to feel something?

There’s no shame either way. Just awareness. And that awareness? It gives you power to choose differently when you’re ready.

“Avoidance looks like comfort… until it doesn’t.” — Unknown

Ready to tune in and reclaim what real self-care feels like?

Sometimes we all need a little sign—a moment to pause and say, “Wait… is this helping me, or just helping me avoid?”That’s where this gentle guide comes in.

📥 Grab your free Self-Care or Self-Avoidance? Awareness Checklist.
It’s a printable reminder to help you check in with yourself, notice what’s really going on, and choose what truly nurtures you—on your terms.

👉 [Get the checklist now] No fluff. No pressure. Just awareness, clarity, and space to be real.

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Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying. See my full disclosure policy for additional information.

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